jump to navigation

me, myself, and Carrie Bradshaw May 24, 2008

Posted by Victoria Fredericks in Culture, Dating/Relationships, Personal, Television, Uncategorized.
Tags: , ,

My personal love affair with a fictional icon

Her name has become synonymous with style and the chic, single-girl lifestyle. She represents the new woman’s funny, sharp, likable everygirl. She’s Carrie Bradshaw, possibly one of the most influential fictional characters to ever influence a generation. Sex and the City played a huge role in revolutionizing the way America views single women; presenting the idea that we do not have to be programmed primarily to achieve the cookie-cutter life targets we’ve been told we should reach for so long (marriage, house, baby, etc). Instead, the bachelorette cherishes single life, independence and freedom. The major storylines in the show, however, do center on not whether or not the characters do in fact marry, have children, or even serious relationships, but how they do it–without losing their sense of self. Being single is not the key, a sense of self is, and Carrie Bradshaw leads the way.

Along with many other women around the world, I have always identified with Carrie. She’s all about opening your heart and your mind at the same time. She’s witty, she’s sharp, she’s sexy–but all in a very accessible, believable way. Mine and Carrie’s “storylines” have coincided as I have watched and re-watched the show and begun to experience my single life as a young woman. While I’m not near my thirties yet, I still feel the inevitable pull from older influences–and society in general–to “settle down,” whatever that means. For Carrie and I, marriage and “happily ever after” is not the be-all, end-all in life. And just like Carrie, I’m a career-focused girl but not necessarily as schooled or as driven as the other three women on the show.

I feel akin to Carrie in many ways. She smokes and drinks and has had a fair helping of casual dating and one-night-stands, but at the end of the day, she’s an old-fashioned girl. She believes in the One, she believes in romance, and most of all, she believes in love. She’s sentimental and reflective. All women are complex, but I relate to Carrie a lot in this way too–her needs and feelings are often conflicted and result in charged and sometimes difficult relationships with men. She’s had to know when to walk away, and it’s bittersweet; especially in her second breakup with Aidan, whom she truly loved and respected, but it just didn’t work, and she couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. It’s never easy to strike a balance. Not just anyone will do. Mischiko Kakutani accused Carrie of “disposing” of men when she reviewed her book in Season Five; I’ve had many of my older friends and colleagues say the same thing to me. But I digress: When searching for a soulmate, one can never be too picky. And so continues the endless search. Carrie was looking for love, real love. “Ridiculous, consuming, can’t live without each other love.” And she found it, as we all hoped and predicted–in Mr. Big.

It’s easy to make a sweeping judgment of the carefree single girl–Carrie and myself included–and throw out terms like “promiscuous” and the like. Aside from the ludicrous societal double-standard, I like to believe that I’ve maintained a moral compass. You can’t look back, you can only learn. Carrie is flawed. I am flawed. We trip over things, we can’t (don’t?) cook, have messy apartments and high credit card bills due to an unshakable shopping addiction. But she’s real–still fictional–but that’s what makes the show so amazing. The writers really, really made Carrie real and relatable to all of us. We can look at her and say: “I’m her.”



1. Will - May 27, 2008

These last two entries (me, myself and Carrie Bradshaw; and maps) were really thought invoking. I have noticed that almost every time I run into someone that I haven’t seen in a while one of the first things they ask about is my relationship status, “So, got a girlfriend?”. It gets annoying. Too many people are so focused on finding someone else they don’t have any time to find themselves.

2. Sophie - May 28, 2008

Oh I can certainly relate to your love of Carrie Bradshaw. I’m off to see an advance showing of the SATC movie tonight and I seriously cannot wait! Looking forward to sharing our thoughts on the film!!

3. urbanfashionista - May 29, 2008

i could not agree more with this post! and i definitely agree that the writers made her real and relatable. i’m the kind of person that says “I’m a Carrie”. can’t wait to see the movie tomorrow!

4. starkravingmadeleine - June 1, 2008

Seems to me it’s the same old fairy tale… some day my Mr. Big will come and he will buy me lots and lots of things and that will make everything perfect.

Carrie seems shallow, selfish, desperate, and very very whiny. I don’t know why anyone would aspire to be like that.

5. ashleybrook - June 12, 2008

Other than with her writing career, I never really related much to Carrie. I always found her to be needy, clingy, and obsessed with men and relationships in general, and those traits of hers is often what scared the men she dated away, and then after all was said and done, she still didn’t understand why. I found myself more relatable to Charlotte, minus the fact that she was naive sometimes.

6. Lauren A - July 20, 2008

Vicky, I do see you as Carrie Bradshaw a lot. And I also really agree with you, that one can never be picky when choosing a soul mate.

7. newyorkinparis - July 25, 2008

Don’t all us New Yorker girls have a little Carrie in us? I got to your blog via my post on Ms. Bradshaw and her acolytes. It actually said to check out yours, go figure! In any case, enjoy NYC, the dates, the fun and adventures. (I’m in Paris now w/my Mr. Big 😉 XO, M

8. newyorkinparis - July 25, 2008

Oh and my blog is newyorkinparis.com (easy).


Oh i just love carrie
no im just obbsessied with CARRIE!!!
she is gorgueous! i deffanitaly a Carrie!
i feel like i know Carrie like she’s my bestfriend or sumthng i really love her! now i wish i had the 4 friend group kinda thing going on! lol
cant wait for the 2nd Movie!!!! -xo! ♥ 😉

10. amr - July 5, 2009

hi hwant you .
ilove you.
i wannt single girk.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: